Things that mean the world to me...

...and random events that happen to me too!

(no subject)
double face alan
cordiliachase
Sometimes life just throws shit your way all at once and says, "Imma fuck this bitch up!"
Major personal and medical issues, all around a shitty week.
I have cried at least once every day this week.
Having issues coping.

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(no subject)
double face alan
cordiliachase
How many times do you have to say something before it becomes truth?

Catch me I'm falling
Please hear me calling
Catch me I'm falling for good

Catch me I'm falling
Losing myself in the air
Catch me I'm Falling
Don't leave me crawling
Catch me and show me you care

(no subject)
double face alan
cordiliachase
Crisis averted....for now

(no subject)
cheers
cordiliachase
I know I only come here to bitch anymore, but just needed to throw out there that since most of my friends are/were Josh's friends first, I can't go to them about relationship stuff without him finding out.  He has this great support system he can pull out of his ass at any point in time, where as when I need someone to lean on, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to vent to in person I'm shit out of luck anymore. So cheers to wallowing in self pity, doubt, frustration, and depression.

(no subject)
double face alan
cordiliachase
I miss my friends

(no subject)
double face alan
cordiliachase
Something is chemically imbalanced in my brain, I can feel it. I don't feel wanted/loved.  Was told to chill the fuck out.  Sorry.  I'll stop.

(no subject)
double face alan
cordiliachase
Long time no see, and still nothing huge to update about. I still work at McDonald's and they are closer to making me a manager, which scares the shit out of me. I think I could handle a management position at like a small-ish retail store, but food service is too damn overwhelming.

I'm still in the hunt for another job. I'll occasionally have a spot-op gig whenever this celebrity tribute artist needs/has the budget for one; I did a gig with him last month and he liked my work. For anyone who's interested: http://chrisayotte.com/ .  Also starting in March or April (and if the company doesn't go under over the winter) I should be starting to learn how to DJ or run a photo booth for weddings/parties/bar mitzvahs/etc. for a company called DJ Crashers. Neither of those is a full-time job, so I'll still be working elsewhere, but a little extra income and some extra experience in my field (kind of) won't hurt. 

We just rearranged the living room into its original set-up; literally, we did it last night. 


Still no engagement ring.

(no subject)
double face alan
cordiliachase
I need to get out of McDs, ASAP. I hit myself for the first time in about six months today, and it was bad. I might have bruises on the sides of my head. I don't know how I'm going to tell Josh. Last time I did something like this he didn't take it well, and I'm afraid of what will happen this time. I don't want to lose him.

Bye Bye Borders
double face alan
cordiliachase
I'm going to miss Borders, but to be fair I'm loving the sale. 11 books = 101.24

Here's a list:

"Dreadnought" by Cherie Priest
"Bloodshot" by Cherie Priest
"The Gunslinger: The Dark Tower I" by Stephen King
"The Waste Lands: The Dark Tower III" by Stephen King (They didn't have the second one)
"A Lion Among Men" by Gregory Maguire
"The Picture of Dorian Grey" by Oscar Wilde (Always wanted to read this one)
"Don Quixote" by Miguel De Cervantes (Another I've always wanted to read)
"Game of Thrones" by George R. R. Martin (I could have gotten the first four for 3 times the price, but I don't know if I'll like the series)
"Rabbit Hole" by David Lindsay-Abaire (A play)
I also picked up "The Walking Dead" Volumes 12 and 14

2nd worst birthday ever
double face alan
cordiliachase
Aside from the birthday where my favorite uncle died that day before it, yesterday was possible my worst birthday ever. I won't go into all the details, but to name a few.

-No one was available to have lunch with me
-The apartment was without power for about 5 hours
-It was fucking hot outside
-The dinner place fucked up my dinner order
-My waffle cone was too thin, that when I got closer to the bottom the ice cream exploded all over me
-I hit myself for the first time in a long time
-I cried myself to sleep


That about covers what I'm willing to share

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